Are you afraid of being alone? Probably, many will answer in the affirmative, because this word evokes unpleasant associations: uselessness, abandonment, despondency and oblivion. Stereotypes around loneliness, imposed by society, force people to stick to people with whom it’s boring, uninteresting and morally difficult. The main thing is not to be alone. How to stop being afraid of loneliness and feel harmony with yourself?

What Is Loneliness and Why Are People Afraid of It?

Loneliness is an internal feeling of psychological isolation, when there is no one to exchange thoughts, feelings and emotions with. A person feels rejected, meaninglessness of his existence, increased anxiety. The part of the brain activated upon the loss of loved ones is also responsible for emotions in physical pain. This also explains the appearance of unpleasant somatic symptoms:

• Insomnia.
• Loss of appetite.
• Fatigue.
• Attention problems.

Anyone can face this feeling. You don’t have to break up with your spouse, lose at casino live games, or experience empty nest syndrome. Among those who are in a relationship, go to work every day and gather guests for birthdays, there are also truly lonely people. There are many acquaintances around, but there is no emotional and mental connection with those around them and themselves.

Men, when afraid of loneliness, try to escape from it and indiscriminately change partners. But one-time relationships bring disappointment, because they do not fill the inner void. Women are afraid to feel alone in the loneliness of uselessness and every way to keep a partner, even if the chosen one is behaving unworthily and makes life unbearable. They deliberately idealize the man and prefer to tolerate his shortcomings than to remain without him.

Factors and Manifestations of Loneliness

There are three factors that contribute to the feeling of loneliness:

• A high level of need for social contact. This is an individual indicator that determines how easily a person endures social isolation. The higher the internal need to be a part of society, the more difficult it is to fully satisfy it.
• Poor control of emotions. Loneliness is associated with psychological suffering. The damage it causes is determined by the person’s ability to control his or her feelings and willingness to solve the problem. Long-term isolation causes chronic anxiety and distorts one’s perception of other people’s behavior.
• Misguided thinking and understanding of others. If you’re lonely, it doesn’t mean you don’t know how to communicate and build relationships. It’s just that you’re not making full use of your social skills. You may get the feeling that you are doing your best to connect with society, but it rejects you. This causes frustration and changes the way you relate to people. 

Why Shouldn’t You Be Afraid of Loneliness?

In psychology, the reason why people fear loneliness is called existential problems. The cessation of social life brings to mind the end of existence in general. It is frightening and makes people look for salvation in superficial connections, instead of engaging in inner development and discovering creativity in themselves.

People who calmly accept the thought of the finitude of life are not afraid of solitude. For them, moments of solitude are happiness and pleasure, an opportunity for personal growth. This is their conscious choice. They live it in the joy of communicating with themselves. For them solitude is a comfortable and energy-saving state, which isn’t to be feared.

What benefits it provides:

• No need to sacrifice self-interest or compromise.
• Eliminates imposed roles and manipulation.
• Gives you the opportunity to better understand yourself and formulate goals for the future.
• Encourages creativity.
• Forces you to take responsibility for your life.

Even those who cry out that they are tired of existing alone and want to find a friend and a partner subconsciously choose solitude. To do this, they create lists of exaggerated requirements for the candidate and defend the established way of life. At the same time, they don’t admit that this is how they protect themselves from others. In the world of social networks and all kinds of interest groups such a request is quickly resolved, if there is really a desire to solve it.